First Time Anal Sex and How to Prepare for it: Some Tips and a Guide For First Timers!

first time anal sex

So, you’ve decided to dig deep into your sexual being and bring out the experimental self inside of you…Great! If you’re considering having your first-time anal sex, you’re not alone. Anal sex is gaining its fair share of popularity among everyone in this 21st century! It’s not something new, although, the various ways and techniques that have evolved over time have definitely added an erotic twist to the sex by penetration of your ‘backside’. 

Let this article help you gain information about everything you are curious to know of anal sex. First things first, anal sex is, usually, when your anus is penetrated by your partner or yourself, using his sexual organ – that is the penis – or sex toys like strap ons, various kinds of dildos, or even your fingers or the tongue. So technically, not just the thrusting or insertion of an erect penis, but vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs might also be used when you’re considering anal sex.

The Preparation That Goes Into It

It’s important to have fun but safety is of utmost importance here. You can be a hot mess but hygiene is the basic requirement. Be protected and take necessary precautions to feel confident about anal sex! To list the most important to-dos and some of the points to keep in mind are during the preparation are,


Unlike vaginal sex, where the vagina wonderfully lubricates itself as you get turned on, your anus does not provide lubrication. Your anus is designed to deliver stuff out of it and to not necessarily take something in. So, without proper lubrication, the process of anal sex might be painful and may lead to bleeding. You see now that providing proper lubrication is a serious issue! 

So, a friendly tip from me to you would be to definitely try the lubes available in the market or on the internet. These gels come in many varieties and as per your need, hot or cool, as you prefer. You could also try petroleum jelly but a proper lubricant is A MUST.


The tissue inside your anus is a bit softer than your vaginal tissue and more sensitive because the anus is a part of your digestive tract. And moreover, this tissue is not well protected! That said, even if you or your partner do not have an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection), there’s a high chance you might end up carrying or transporting bacteria inside your body during anal sex. You can get infected through this much faster than in vaginal penetration.

use condoms for anal sex

Pro tip: Use a condom! Condoms are our best friend when it comes to staying protected during sex, be it vaginal or anal, be it an unwanted pregnancy, or the risk of an infection – always wear that rubber!

After bacteria sure does come more bacteria 

The STIs aren’t our only concern when it comes to anal sex as there are millions of bacterias inside your anus, already living there, making a happy home for themselves. The trick is to change the condoms when moving on from anal sex to oral sex or vaginal penetration. This stops the bacteria in your anus from entering other parts of your body. And if you’re using your fingers or a sex toy, be sure to thoroughly clean the toys after sex and before reusing them. Keep in mind that room temperature helps bacteria grow, so use warm water to wash everything off.

Common Concerns of First Time Anal Sex

Now that we have safety in the box let’s move on to some other common concerns for your first-time anal sex and go through them one by one like a pro! 

  1. The bathroom issue: You might want to go and use the bathroom after your anal sex session is over. The need to go number two after anal penetration is only natural. A popular myth is anal sex makes you lose control of your bowel movements, I’m going to go ahead and say no to that. You will be in full control of your bowel movements and if anything, this might just cure your constipation!
  1. The health issues: You might have heard the terms ‘hemorrhoids‘ or ‘colon perforation‘ being associated with anal sex as vigorous anal sex leads to the stretching of your muscles at times. Anal sex might irritate existing hemorrhoids but it’s unlikely to cause it. Although highly unlikely, but vigorous anal sex might puncture a hole in your colon. In that case, the pain becomes unbearable and you should run to the doctor. 

Dos And Don’ts of Anal Sex

Don’t worry too much about it! As long as you’re informed and safe, don’t shy away from exploring your sexual side. Explore it yourself or with your partner! Here are some additional things that you could do…or don’t!


It’s possible that anal sex can get a little messy. If you want things a bit cleaner down there, consider an enema or an anal douche. You can consult your local drugstore and the products are easy to find, buy and operate. Nonetheless, consider the possibility that there might be some poop involved. This is, my friend, the reality of anal sex as microscopic fecal matter will absolutely be present, even after an enema. Clean yourself up before and after a session of anal sex.


As sexy as it is to scratch and mark your partner, nails are a no-no during anal sex. Cutting your nails not only prevents the bacteria from getting stuck inside of your nails, you might also save yourself or your partner from the cutting or rupture of thin and delicate tissues inside your anus by cutting your nails. Moreover, do not forget to wash your hands after your steamy hot session.

The Position

As long as you and your partner have the depth and pace figured out, any position you like can be considered. Doggy style? Absolutely. Missionary? Go for it. Anything else on your mind? Give your imagination free rein. The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings, even if an orgasm is not on your list, anal sex is a fun way to play!

Go Sober During Your First Time Anal

For first-time anal sex, stay in your senses and DO NOT use alcohol or drugs that numb you. It’s important you feel and take control of what’s happening to your body. Start slowly, relax your muscles and breathe deeply!

back door and sex

For men who want to experience getting penetrated in the anus, remember that your prostate and the area around it have lots of blood vessels and you’re likely to be bruised if handled roughly. Be gentle and use lots of lube! 

And not just with men to men or women to men, always consider using a lube even when you’re engaging in men to women or women to women anal sex.

Benefits And Downsides of Anal Sex

Anal sex helps you to explore your sexual self and push your boundaries – it helps you know your body on a deeper level. There’s always a thrill that comes with doing something new but don’t let any kind of pressure force you into doing something you know you’re not willing to go through! 

A downside of anal sex is that many go through with it because of just their partner or because they think anal sex is something everyone must go through. Since the bottom line is to have fun, if you’re uncomfortable or if your partner is, be open to talking about it. The beginning might always be a bit strange but once you get there, you might end up enjoying the ride! Although it’s completely okay if after beginning, or even after a few times, it feels like anal sex is not for you.

One of the benefits of anal sex could be that it can be your gateway to other things. Think about it, if you thought you could never do anal sex but you did, a world of possibilities might open up for you…but you have to understand that just like the vagina, the muscles in your anus will also relax if you’re into it – if you’re too tight, it probably ain’t right.

Sure, give yourself, your partner and your bodies time to get used to the sensation – but if you know that you’re uncomfortable or if it is too painful, or if you just simply don’t like having anal sex, listen to your body and stop. It’s completely okay to have personal preferences.

Frequently Asked Questions About First Time Anal Sex

Here you will find answers to common questions about anal sex. If you have any, feel free to leave them in the comments, I’ll do my best to answer them ASAP.

How much will first-time anal sex hurt? 

Not much, really, that is, if you do it correctly. It actually feels great but expect some getting used to discomfort for the first time or rather the first few times. Although there are people who have never experienced pain during anal sex, if you feel any discomfiture at all as it is completely normal and expected, try using fingers or the toys and get used to the idea or the sensation first, and then you’re good to go! Seek advice if you need it, be safe, stay informed and have fun!

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