From what I’ve learned about DDLG, I’d actually love to be a ‘little’. Yes, that’s what the submissive is called in the DDLG world. DDLG stands for Daddy Dom Little Girl, but it’s not that simple. It could be DDLB, where B stands for Boy – everything else remaining the same. Or MDLG where M stands for Mommy or even MDLB.
It can get a bit complicated so the first thing this article will cover all the terminologies. Having knowledge about the terms that are used will help you understand this fetish better. It’s been a while since I’ve written an article packed with so much information. There are just so many varied aspects related to this child-parent play – starting from the play rules you make to the safety issues to the psychological aspects to how society sees it! I’m so looking forward to writing it – it’s going to be fun!
So read on, if you don’t know what DDLG is, or want some information about it, this is where you’ll find everything out!
DDLG Terminologies Covered Here…
Before we get into anything else, you need to know what’s what. A detailed guide to DDLG will have to have these terms cleared. So here they are:
- Daddy Dom/Daddy: This is the dominant male figure. A daddy doesn’t necessarily have to be roughly dominant though. By ‘dominant’ here it means someone who takes care of the ‘little’. Daddys can punish their littles but DDLG is a bit different from other BDSM plays. We’ll get to that section in a while.
- Mommy Dom/Mommy: You replace the male with the female and there we have the Mommy Dom!
- Little: A little is the person (male or female) who takes on the role of the child in this parent-child roleplay.
- Caregiver (CG): A caregiver is not really a Daddy or Mommy Dom. Although they do take the responsibility to care for, provide for and if needed, punish the little.
- Middle: A middle explores the role of a teenager and acts accordingly, just like a little takes on the role of a child.
- Little Space: This is the state of mind of a person when they enter the role of a child. This role leaves a person extremely free but also vulnerable as you’re literally performing as a child would. You’re free to act as you like and explore your inner child.
Ideally, there should be no judgments about this role but that’s a totally different kettle of fish. The more general term for this is Headspace – used to describe the mind frame of people who enjoy BDSM in general.
- Little Age: As DDLG is an ageplay, little age is that particular age that a little decides to be.
These are more or less the terms you need to know if you’re into this ageplay. Other than this, a DDLG couple might have their own vocabulary as well. For instance, they could use words like ‘nom nom’ for food or ‘blankie’ for blankets and as such.
Plus, there are also voice modulations, behavioral patterns, and what not. All of it is exclusive to different such relationships. Let’s move on to the next section to find out more about it!
Now, What Is DDLG & How Does It Work?
DDLG, you may have guessed by now, is where one dominant partner takes care of and provides for the submissive other. Also, DDLG is where the dom is a male but it doesn’t necessarily need to be so. One crucial difference between DDLG and all other BDSM plays is that in this play, there needs to be care and support. It is often more tender than other BDSM plays. A Daddy Dom here is often referred to as the caregiver.
Also, you’d think DDLG is uncommon but it really is not. Due to the nature of this ageplay, people might not be open about it. Although it has been here for a long time now. Only in recent times have people had the courage and encouragement to talk freely about it. But even today, this kind of delicate play raises some questions.
A lot of people raise objections like, “if your partner gets turned on while you’re acting like a child, what will they be like around actual children?” What needs to be understood is that this ageplay is between two consenting adults. And firstly, no, the dom isn’t actually attracted to children but to another adult – who’s their partner – who is acting like a child.
And secondly, the sexual element isn’t exclusive to DDLG. Many couples want to just explore the parent-child aspect of the relationship and not bring sex into it. Taking care of a ‘little’ by helping them with dealing with their adult responsibilities, getting them to play sets, or even reading them a bedtime story – DDLG is mostly about exploring your inner child and being a loving parent.
The Play Rules…
Due to the sexual nature that this play might at times invoke, there have to be some rules to this. There are also questions raised like, is DDLG harmful to you? Well, like any other BDSM kink or fetish, it’s not harmful at all if practiced between consenting adults.
Although there are rules to every play exclusive to the participants, these few rules might be followed and accepted by everyone in general.
- You must be willing to and open about experiencing new things.
- Understand that it can be a delicate matter when explaining DDLG to others.
- Decide a safe word for yourself.
- Always talk about every issue with your partner. Communication is extremely important in these relationships.
- Remember to pay some time and attention to aftercare.
Moreover, remember that DDLG parents/caregivers or littles/children do not have any sort of psychological issues or anything like that. Some people are quite vanilla and don’t like anything outside the ordinary. This is all well and good, except don’t go on imposing this on other people.
Many have talked about how littles have daddy issues or caregivers have misbehaved with children which leads to having DDLG relationships. To that, I’d simply say, so what? It’s a case of random chances, really. On one hand, a ‘little’ might have daddy issues but on the other hand, a caregiver might have wonderful children but could still enjoy being a caregiver to another consenting adult in the headspace of a child.
Check out this forum for stories related to this lifestyle and to know more.
Safety And Abuse…
Safety and abuse is an important aspect of any BDSM roleplay at all. Know that it’s not the case that always a dominant will be the abusive one and the submissive abused. It can also be the case that a dominant is being abused.
The first thing to do is to identify the abuse. As a submissive, if you see your dominant is keeping you away from your friends or taking your phone away because he wants him all to himself, that’s a red flag. Many DDs or MDs will want you all to themselves but wouldn’t be forceful about it. Moreover, if during imparting punishments they go too harsh on you. Or if they ignore the safeword. Or if they start to stalk you, it’s time you took things seriously and walked away to be safe again.
As a dominant, if your sub is making you, rather than coercing you, into doing things you’re not entirely comfortable with, that’s abuse. The same goes with giving you your own space. If they’re being overly needy and ignoring the sanctity of the safe word, that’s abuse.
Frequently Asked Questions
What’s the right way to incorporate the sexual element into my DDLG relationship?
DDLG is all about caregiving. Most couples use this ageplay for comfort and to feel secure. If you want to introduce the sexual element in your DDLG scene, the first thing to do is to talk it out with your partner. And the second thing to do is to decide on a safe word for the two of you.
If both of you agree that you want to engage in sexual activities while still in the little space, you can engage in these activities bit by bit. A safe word will help stop any overstepping or if any uncomfortable situations arise. Moreover, aftercare is also important. After sex, it’s important that both of you sit and talk about how it was and how it made you feel. Aftercare will help wind both of you down. It’ll also help deal with any and all sorts of emotions that might have come up.
Is it possible to engage in solo DDLG?
You might think that DDLG is only for couples but you can also go at it solo. Well, if you’re a ‘little’, at least. You can’t be a caregiver because most of your role involves you taking care of someone else. But if you’re a little, you can start to explore your inner feelings.
You can begin by starting to play the games you like or watching the stuff you want to or simply by giving yourself a break from being an adult – you can give yourself early bedtimes or even have special cups or plates for yourself. Solo DDLG can help you sort things out for yourself first. If you’re comfortable being a ‘little’, then you can take the next step and try it out with a partner.