BDSM Toys For Beginners

bdsm toys for beginners

Immediate users and beginners in BDSM, welcome to this guide. Among BDSM toys for beginners, you might find something you missed out on, even you already have some experience.

A Fantasy

I have this image in my head. It plays out like a scene in a BDSM den. Someone looks up and down at me and says, “I don’t think this is the right place for you”. I don’t know what place it really is, it’s in my mind but someone is about to ask me to leave when I see the paddle. I take it and examine it.

The next second, without warning, I use it, wham, on the back of someone’s thigh and it’s not how hard I hit them… it’s the way I do it. “Go down” is what I say next when someone hands me a whip. I go on to say, and I am extremely sexy in my mind at this moment, and everyone who thought I didn’t belong is in awe and amazed, so I go on to say something like, “Peter, there’s a worm on the roof. And it’s moving.”

I don’t know anybody named Peter and once I had no idea what to do with a whip or a paddle, for that matter. And why would I even be talking about a worm? When I first realized I was interested in BDSM, by then I’d had these fantasies about how there are so many people around me just waiting for me to speak, to move, to do something. I wanted to know more and then I wanted to do more.

So I started researching and implementing the research in my life. And now, here for beginners, is a handy guide on BDSM toys. Intermediate users might also benefit as I’ve tried and tested each one of these and I’m here to open my head in front of you and share.

What is BDSM and Why is It so Hot and Happening?

Ouf, the age-old question. What is BDSM and why am I so interested in it? Well, you’re pulled towards it because where BDSM is concerned, the words ‘bondage’, ‘discipline’, ‘dominance’, ‘submission’ & ‘Sadism and Masochism (or Sadomasochism)’ comes to life with new and vibrant meanings.

To speak frankly, BDSM gives way to your kinky fantasies. I mean, imagine me in a sweet vanilla pose talking about worms, my partner would take me literally and look up thinking, “Okay there’s a worm that’s gonna fall on our heads anytime now” and when the aforementioned worm fails to materialize the next thought would be, “who on earth is Peter?” But now that BDSM is in the picture, ‘worm’ is just a safe word, and so is ‘Peter’, for that matter. 

Let me talk in terms clearer than this. In BDSM, there’s a lot of power play, pain play, role play, sensory deprivation play, every kind of fetish play actually. And there are toys. These aren’t mere sex toys. BDSM isn’t a thing to indulge in on a Saturday evening, it’s a lifestyle. It’s a sexy secret that opens doors for you to explore your sexual side.

Okay, okay, I won’t get corny. But I will talk about toys. Because if you’re a beginner, a lot of questions must be in your mind. What to do? How to do it? When to do it? But the first thing that you should ask yourself is: what do I want to do? Because we understand no limits. There is only the safe word. If you can take it, your partner will give it to you.

Types of Toys for BDSM Beginners

In general, BDSM toys for beginners can be put into two main categories: the restraining ones and sensory deprivation BDSM toys. Let’s review each category in more detail.

The Restraining BDSM Toys For Beginners

lelo cuffs

Well, they’re less like toys and more like handcuffs and straps and mattresses that come with handcuffs and straps. But for beginners, they’re toys because they bring you fun and joy.

  • Good old handcuffs are a way to go. There are so many types of handcuffs available online or at a store to choose from! I personally use silver handcuffs with black lining. It also has a little bit of glitter. Then there’s the pink furry one, with feathers coming out of it. These are the most basic handcuff designs…and the most classic.
  1. Thigh Cuffs: Thigh cuffs are actually safer if you’re just beginning to experiment with BDSM toys. Handcuffs sometimes tighten on their own and you might need some time to get used to them. It certainly helps if you start with thigh cuffs and move up:
  2. Bondage Tapes: Best thing ever! Soft tapes that work just like cuffs. Or do this, go organic and just get a clothesline or some cotton fabric – nothing nylon or synthetic that can cut into your skin…unless you want it to.
  3. Unbound cuffies are a new thing I like. Being someone who constantly thinks up scenarios in the head and has a fascination with new things, I am constantly on the lookout for something new. I found these handcuffs with no keys, no buckles and no-knots-required resilient cuffs. They were fun to use because of how fast they could be taken on and off.
  • The leash is my favourite. Just Google BDSM leash and you’ll get an idea of how sexy it is. It’s back and made of leather and helps when you want your submissive near you. Just pull on that leash and let them come to you.
  • The harness is a star. It’s like a set of leather straps that bind your hands and your neck. The large binding sets at times come with a whip. The leash, harness and a whip is a must-have BDSM starter pack. Although the whip is an advanced BDSM toy, for more enthusiastic people. But we’ll talk about the extreme toys in a different article. For now, maybe put the whip aside.

The Sensory Deprivation BDSM Toys

BDSM toys for beginners - breathable ball gag

I used to do this a lot initially, use handcuffs and a blindfold to cover the eyes. I threw in a Wartenberg Pinwheel as well, but then again, that spiky toy is a little advanced for beginners. What you have to understand is that BDSM isn’t just about using one toy. It’s a mixture of pleasure and pain so the fun in the process also must include a mixture of more than one toy.

  • A Blindfold: You’d be missing out to not use a blindfold. It’s another classic! You literally blindfold your partner, or yourself and give the reins to somebody else.
  • Breathable ball gags make you follow commands, and you don’t get to speak. It’s very exciting to hand yourself over to someone else like that. To begin to trust someone with yourself, knowing that it’s thrilling and scary, both at the same time.
  • Nipple clamps and clit clamps have been there for a long time. These come in variations, ranging from beginners to advanced. You can choose the adjustable clamps. At the beginner’s stage, these clamps give you enough freedom to choose the pressure you’re willing to put on yourself. Fine the right amount of pain in your pleasure.
  • Tickler and slapper: Ticklers are naughty. Slappers are naughtier. Both of them together is the naughtiest combination possible. Don’t go for paddles yet, gently steel yourself for what’s coming next. Once you begin, chances are you’ll grow through your BDSM experience. A slapper and tickler goes a long way.

Miscellaneous BDSM Toys For Beginners

Sex swing for beginners

These toys come with an aura of mystery. Of course, you can mix and match with a vibrator or a dildo. But BDSM toys aren’t regular sex toys.

  • Sex swing: A simple sex swing that is adjustable and can be put away after use, what else can we want? Sex swings also come in different varieties, just like nipple and clit clamps. Choose a swing that works for you.
  • Spreader Bars: They, like the name suggests, help you spread your legs. The twist is they stay spread and locked in that position. You don’t get to move, but you feel the full thrust of what you want. 
  • Hoods, Masks and Muzzles: Are you into roleplay? Good, because if you are, masks and hoods are a good option to consider. These are usually black and cover your face. Ah but they can also be cute or fancy. You take your pick.

Frequently Asked Questions About BDSM Toys

Here you will find answers to common questions about BDSM toys for beginners (and more).

Q. Is it okay if I only want to use BDSM toys for beginners?

Of course, it is. Even a blindfold to spice up your sexual escapades is enough if that’s what you want. Whether you want to move ahead with more toys or more advanced toys is and completely should be your decision.

Q. How do I tell my partner I want to experience BDSM?

Be direct. I simply went with, ‘I bought a blindfold and some handcuffs. Then once my partner and I were through using these beginner BDSM toys, one after the other we started experimenting and exploring more of them. You could talk to your partner before you get yourself a BDSM toy and choose one of these toys mentioned above together!

Fun Fact: It can only seem scary to broach the subject of BDSM to your partner at first. Chances are, they’re also thinking about getting restrained or restraining you, using that slapper, or getting tickled and getting on a sex swing with you! 

I’ve put together a list of the most basic beginner BDSM toys, a few of them are available in advanced versions as well. But choose one, or a few, or all of them, and get going already!

TIP: if you want to make your BDSM play more classy, check out LELO’s accessories for BDSM. Cuffs made from silk, natural leather whip – pure luxury all over the place!

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